Updating: Life in General

My last post was about my 'jammed nester' and I am happy to report that we are slowly making progress!  We actually had someone stay in the guest room this past week (though, it was just a queen size mattress on the floor surrounded with our stuff still)!  My husband also almost has his computer room all set up.  I am slowly, and I mean  s   l   o   w   l   y  getting the kitchen put together.  I cooked dinner last night and we ate at the table!  YAY! 

Concerning decorating, Michael and I are searching for posters we both like.  The one he already has that we both love would be a fortune to frame and dangerous to dry mount since it is no longer available in the size he has.  We'll get there. :)

So here I am at work, feeling much less productive than I imagine myself being if I was at home.  Laundry and dishes to do, messes to clean up, floors to sweep, boxes to unpack!  However, I also took a moment to look through some facebook pictures of my man and started to think about life as it was last year.  It was fun.  There are milestones to look forward to now.

In 21 days, we will have been together for a year.  (All of you who were aghast at our speed may now gasp).  It's neat for me.  Last time I was in an official long term relationship, it was officially over on our one year anniversary.  I'm excited to reach 1 year because I know Michael isn't going anywhere.  I'm excited to count the coming years as well. 

My sister and her family have been in town for a while which is awesome.  What's not so awesome is that they leave on Saturday and I feel like I've barely seen them at all.  Working stinks.  :/  My siblings get to spend all this time with her and her baby.  I'm here at work in front of a computer screen all week while they're entertaining the baby and interacting with my sister and her husband.  Boo.

It's been thunderstorms for several days in a row now, here.  It's just like it used to be when I was a little kid!  Afternoon thunderstorms over the mountains.  We used to sit and watch while eating popsicles on the back porch until it got closer and we ran scared.  For as much as the dog seemed to LOATHE fireworks, he doesn't seem to mind thunder much.

Speaking of the dog, he's starting to get bigger.  Not just in size, but also in mentality.  He's grown out of the puppy 'love everyone' stage and he's started to bark.  Not constantly, just more often.  We've determined I shall never be snuck up upon while doing laundry, or just facing away from the world.  He even barks at my husband, like he did this morning while I was making our lunch in the kitchen, when they approach or walk by when I'm facing a wall.  While I know I'm protected by him, we're going to have to work on that. 

He's also lost his baby teeth.  Michael said you never really see them, but Kuma decided to prove him wrong by losing 2 in front of us on different occasions.  His big dog teeth are coming in and they look much too large for his mouth at the moment.  Right now though, he's struggling with chewing a little bit because he's got his front teeth in, his molars in, and everything between is missing.  Cute puppy.

Well, that's all for now.  That's the update on life right now.  Until next time!

Transition

So the wedding is over.

The honeymoon is over.

Real life is back.

And it's not 'normal.'

When I was little, I was the Queen of Homesick at slumber parties.  We'd get ready for bed, lay down, and I'd listen to all of the unfamiliar sounds and just panic.  Not much later, I would be on the phone with my mom or dad begging them to come pick me up.  It was the unfamiliar that set me on edge.  The sounds.  The smells.  The routine.  It wasn't like 'at home.'

I finally grew mostly out of my homesickness by middle school.  I was able to cope a little bit better with the unfamiliar.  Then, I moved to college.  I went through a whole new kind of homesickness: the kind where there is no calling home and getting picked up and escaping the unfamiliar.  I had a few breakdowns within the first month, but then school became the new normal.  The new familiar.  It was still hard for the next 3 years whenever I left my family and home, but it got better because school was my second home.  Then later, the house I rented at school was a second home.

In each of these stages in my life, though, I knew that eventually I would be going home.  Home to the house I grew up in.  Home to the people I grew up with.  Now I am in a new stage of life.  A new state of life transition.  In this stage, I am making a new permanent home.  My new permanent home is with my Husband.  This stage is so much harder than I ever imagined.  It's hard to grasp the gravity of the event when while you're dating and engaged, the only thought you have is that you're tired of saying goodbye and you simply want to spend all of your time with your loved one.  After that thought though, you return to the familiar and you're robbed of the impact.

Well, that impact has hit full force now.  It is compounded by the fact that we currently do not have our new permanent home.  My nesting impulse is completely confounded.  I want to clean and decorate and rearrange and make a space ours.  But today, we're still in limbo, waiting for some sense of stability.  We are in a holding pattern for the next 2 weeks (we decided together).  I feel lost as to how to make this work.  It is so unlike anything else I've experienced.  I find it hard not to withdraw.  So, I need to reach out.

I reached out to my mother for help, and this was her advice to me:  It's all about attitude.  Pray for help with your attitude.  When I was 14, I went on a mission trip to Ukraine as a spoiled American brat.  I came back different.  I went again 2 more times, the last during college.  Right before I went on that trip, my attitude about life was awful.  I was fighting with everyone and downright depressed and miserable.  After going on the trip, my perspective was changed again.  My mom's advice continued:

At this point, tell yourself I can withstand anything for 2 weeks. Then think of all you saw in the Ukraine . . . it might help put things in perspective. It is not what you envisioned for yourself, but maybe it is right where you should be . . .

Thank you, Mom.  I guess I need to just breathe, rearrange and clean what space I have left, and pray desperately for God's help to help me see past the discomfort, the unfamiliar and the unstable.  All the while, I need to enjoy every second I have with my husband.  Find the joy in the moment.

And make new peace with the new 'normal.'